it was an honest mistake~

Sheva!! :D.. so played soccer today with Louis,Jack,Pei Xiang,Farit,Hidhir,Gabin and louis's cousin justin or smth.. hahaha.. it went WAYYYYY better than expected.. sheva's son (lol) scored 12 goals muahahahaha.. and god does it feel so damn good when u score 1 nice goal and ppl go "WOOOOOOOWWWW NICE NICE" haha.. made friends with some swiss cottage kids who were playing at pending and i gotta say those little sec 2 buggers are REALLY good.. not as good as us but still f'ing good :P.. cant wait to fight their sch team cuz next year they're in division B :).. so i was telling jack about how ppl in my office would think im chinese and speak to me in chinese at first cuz my skin if cold its VERY white.. so apparently while on the way home,buying bubble tea at BP with jack and farit,they auntie says something in chinese about "got 20 cents".. im like "eh auntie i not chinese hehe.." she laughed and both of them were like "wth?".. haha cannot blame lah my mom's indo chinese so i probably got it from her then :D.. good lah i look like chinese :P



dont ask me why my hair is like that.. :P i just woke up.. look at the skin :P. white :D.
so..everything went smoothly UNTIL Farit just had to ask me.. so this is how it went. totally changed my mood ugh..

Farit: eh so how ah u last time told me u like some girl.. how ask already?
me: eh..got rejected lah.if u dont believe ask jack.
Farit: HUH?! Serious?! but i thought..
me: yeah i thought so too,but uh...i dunno whatever lah.
Farit: nvm lah.. theres lots more fishes in the sea..besides it should be easy for you what.
me: i dont want any other fish man.. they can try to get me as much as they want,i just wont.if i wanted to,i would get one like a long time ago....but i dont want to.
Farit: did she had feelings for you or something?
me: maybe?wait.. honestly how am i supposed to know? thats the million dollar question why u ask me?
Farit: well who knows maybe she like you and maybe she just wants to stay it that way. just liking you. not more not less or shes just not ready? you attract girls easily man haha..
me: you suck at making me happy man HAHAHAH
Farit: tell me,how did it happen?

me: well its like this.. i ask then i got a solid NO.. dont take it as rejection this and that.. and poof,now shes not even talking to me. sad ah? its like im trying to say w/e happened,happened lah u know.. and somehow its just not enough.. and i get a feeling that shes angry with me for god knows why. i dont blame her,i blame myself.. she probably is or was angry at me.. and because of ME, shes not talking to me right now. how to feel happy u tell me? atleast talk to me or smth,but now i cant even talk to her,is like so fucking stupid. and the best thing is,i feel fucking dumb at myself because i asked. if i didnt ask,nothing like this should happen. now look when i ask? look at how it changed the whole thing man? shes not even talking to me because i asked. because i asked man. and i think she even blocked me at MSN. i literally destroyed the friendship right there when i asked. and its like im trying so hard to get back at where we started,and somehow someway she just wont let me. i just wished that theres someway to take back all the things that i said for her to feel like that.its not like im purposely trying to make her mad because i get rejected,i wouldnt care at all if i got rejected but she would still be talking to me.AT ALL. i am really stupid for asking man. atleast talk to me,drop me a call,sms or SOMETHING.. she wont even talk to me man!

Farit: no its not,its not stupid that you let it all out or spill your heart out. or not she'll never know. and then someone will probably get her by then. THEN you'll feel so crushed. you know girls man,they say 1 thing they mean another. maybe shes just confused.
me: I just wanna make the point clear,if its a yes then good lah,if its a no then whatever. dont need to frickin avoid me or smth.it just seems so that she doesnt know about that. we were friends for so long man. and i stupidly go ask.. then boom. from friends become foes or something. its not fair man. i just had to do it.. but this is what i get? its not fair man.its like rejection but plus the whole package.. WITH A CHERRY ON TOP.
Farit: chill ah.. just give her time and things will be better.. girls need time to think man. they do. you know that,i know that. :)

went home and listened to songs while walking.. and theres just 1 particular song that made me even sadder.. actually 2 but.. blah. ironically theyre both my fav songs last time :S. had tears in my eyes when i sang along heh.. pathetic eh? its not like im asking for sympathy or smth but its a blog and i feel like i should let it all out i guess.. tears in the eyes but not crying ah! :P..
its sad really,because nobody knows exactly how i feel.. not even her.. hah she doesnt even know this blog exists..& dont jump to conclusions ah cause you guys probably have NO idea what im talking about so its all safe..:) stay that way..it will probably make matters worse if she knew what i wrote here.... right?
she wouldnt uds w/e i said and will probably be angrier at me.I dont wanna get people affected because of me. i dont wanna make the problem worser than it already is.its really really sad that you make just 1 big mistake and theres no way to revert back to the way it was. i'd fake a smile to make everything back to the way it was. she would fucking kill me if she knew that HAHA. confirm. ok ok. i shall talk about polar bears cuz they are so FUZZYWUZZY and theyre CUTE.. except for the big ones.
ok im just being lame now. chalet,D's bday and Outing with Wan Jun(wahaha) coming!! hahah cant wait for that :D :D :D. haha nite ppls.

My December - Linkinpark
"and i just wished that i didnt feel like there was something i missed,and i take back all things that i said to make you feel like that"

Sum 41 - No Reason (i love this song :D)
Chorus
Tell me why can't you see it's not the way?
(so how long has this gone on?I dont see this ending)
When we all fall down it will be too late
(It's too late,we cant change what has now begun)
Why is there no reason we cant change?
(We act like its not right,why are we pretending?)
When we all fall down who will take the blame,what will it take?
(We've been wrong for so long,we've known this all along)


ps: POLAR BEAR CUBS ARE CUTE BUGGERS HAHAHA.. :D I LOOOOVE THEM :D (LOOK AT THAT!! ESP THE 2ND PIC!! SO CUTE!! :DD)