the sound of truth

you know its funny how i thought RP was alright a few entries back but now it totally changed my mindset. ali told me that the first year of RP is really awkward like how theres no lectures, exams and how everyone is relaxing doing nothing. He also said that they're changing the system there starting from april because the new principal just joined in from Temasek Poly so hopefully they change the method of teaching. at this point of time, my sis is right. the thought of retaking a few subjects sounds fine but at the end of the day, its just a diploma and im gonna waste a year retaking the subjects. a diploma isnt even that useful in the end. previously i thought about retaking 3 of the subjects that i know i can do better while doing the 1st semester in RP. i was thinking like if i get good results for it and combined my two certs, i would withdraw from RP and go to NP through JAE next year. it would take a year off my life but its atleast better than being in RP for the first year doing nothing you know? it sounds alright but im wasting a year and afterall its just diploma.

I don't know if i should go forward or move backwards a little. I still have about two weeks to think about it because thats when we'll know which course and poly we're going to so yeah. my sis also said that i have to take resposibility for fucking up my O's and now i have to deal with it. she also said that if i want to go to university, i just have to endure 3 years in RP and get good grades for every semester. GPA is an average of all the tests that you have for each semester. Good GPA means i can get reccomendation from the school to find jobs. After that is NS for 2 years. (beats me why its 2 years). in the mean time, i have to apply for a certification for logistics and also a company thats willing to take me in. so it all depends on whether or not i'll get good grades for 3 years in RP. once my NS is done, i'll start working for a company and after awhile ask them to sponsor me for my degree. sounds like its going to take awhile for me to get my degree but thats life. just take things slowly and dont fuck it up. it sounds alright but the thought of being in RP just makes you feel a little... insecure you know? blah i don't know. i still have time to think about it so i'll give it some time. i know my past entires have been quite boring but i cant think of anything exciting to say at this point of time heh. confused to the core. im having severe jet lag blah! i slept from 630pm to 4am. its bad... i have to fix this jet lag. I think im going to the gym beside gombak MRT later at 5 plus with my mom because she wants to run on the treadmill and do some exercises. oh and i want to work out too so we're probably gonna go there later.

im messed up right now ahha. stressed out and confused about lots of things. i should've thrown away my guitar last year when i had the chance man -sigh. i feel really betrayed by it :/. it ruined my life! URGH. blah, no use regretting.
oh well, gnite ppls! :D