hello ppls! :D bio paper was alright just now. its wasnt easy or hard. I think I made 1 stupid mistake for the menstruation cycle part(yes, believe it or not, we're forced to learn this in bio ahha).. I didnt study that topic but I do remember abit of it from sec 4. I got the 'fertile period' in the cycle right but explaining the part when it.. nvm. blah dont ask me about 'bloody' stuff, its not my cup of tea... literally :P. eww wtf hahhaa. bio is damn weird right? they teach us these things when im not even a girl. -.- anyways I havent slept for 27 hours now because of that stupid maths paper 2. I couldnt sleep at all because I kept thinking about what would happen if I dont make it to poly. I made a couple of careless mistakes in the paper also. like using 3.14 as pie instead of 3.142. :( I can go to alot of courses if I get a c6 for my maths. If I get d7 for it, i'll have to go to RP because they accept D7 for maths. I guess atleast its better than not going to poly. also theres a few courses in Ngee Ann that could save my ass because it doesnt need the math grade. If im not wrong they're digital visual effects, Bio-molecular science and Bio-med science and some others. I have to check the JAE book again.
ugh if I dont pass my math, i'll have to buy only the maths O lvl paper for 2009 and wait until the end of the year to do it. oh and its a new syllabus too. when thats done, I can combine the math grade with my cert. I was thinking that IF that happened, I would get a tutor early in the year to help me out so I dont need to go to any private schools that cost a ton or go to sec 5 again. in a way its like home school. Basically I can do whatever I want for the whole year but what the hell am I going to do while waiting for the end of the year? besides if that happens, im gonna be all alone while you guys are happily enjoying yourselves in poly. nobody's gonna care or help me out so its gonna be damn tough. Its better to go to a course that you like instead of one that you dont like at all. BUT if thats the case then I guess I have no other choice. its either that or i'll be packing all my stuff in a suitcase and i'll be flying off to houston to live with my sis. then, I think i'll be transferred into the final year of the high school or something so I can go to college. long story short, if that happens: you're never going to see me in person again.
now I really DONT want that to happen because I like it here. most importantly I cant leave her forever, if you know what I mean. ive done so much and ive gone too far so that would be the stupidest thing for me to do. from primary 5 to sec 5. thats almost 7 years. 7 years is a really long time you know?! -sigh. URGH im so stressed/scared/angry/disappointed/pissed/sad right now. I think mizi, kamal, ziq, isaac and jasvinny noticed how upset I really was ever since yesterday. I called Isaac and he was like 'who knows maybe you'll get a c6. eh please dont go suicidal on me ah!' ahaha. im not suicidal lah! who knows maybe i'll get a c6 for maths AHHAA. well if that happens, i'll be jumping for joy already sia. ahya I need someone to talk to because im so scared right now. its like you need somebody to talk to but nobodys there. it really does suck to be alone, if you know what I mean. plus I havent even told my sister about this. I wonder what she'll say. :( oh my goodness. im such a wreck. I HAVE to stop thinking about this. okay I just realised that this entry is super long so im gonna end it here. im gonna go to bed in awhile.
oh well, gnite ppls.
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